hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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