Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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