are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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