did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
