I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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