i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
