we're blogging at a bar
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize