Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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