i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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