i don't like sucking hair
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My vagina just recognized that song.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
