The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
