the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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