I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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