i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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