My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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