ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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