My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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