I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
