You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
