erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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