adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
