i think my tv is drunk
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
