you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
