i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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