so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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