You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
