Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
