You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize