she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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