Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
