wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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