Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
