I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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