Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
