we're blogging at a bar
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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