Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize