The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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