WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
