There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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