How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
