I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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