Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
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Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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