Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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