I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
