this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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