i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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