If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
