I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do vagina's smell?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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