I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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