You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
