Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The Olympian is in my bed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
