At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
