True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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