White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
