My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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