I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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