Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
