Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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