I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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