Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
