dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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