i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
