Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
