fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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