Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
