from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
