he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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