why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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