I can text with my tongue
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
